I hope so. It'll be so bloody worth it! I see my family and friends in Australia in 4 weeks. I'm terrifed. I've GOT to be skinny by then.
Well I am still 142.6 but no surprises there. I have been in binge hell for the past 3 days. After my last post, I went on to have a good day (thanks for the supportive comments!) and only had 350 cals then the following day things went to shit again. I had to meet friends for coffee (again! so many coffee mornings lately?!) which turned into lunch but I didn't eat anything however I did have 3 huge coffees. When I got home I realised I had consumed nearly 500 cals in liquids - what a waste! Anyway I told myself I'd totally blown it and binged as soon as I walked in the door.
Then the following day started fine. I had a late lunch - 350 calorie salad and decided to have 200 cals of soup for dinner. But plans changed. Instead I went out for dinner and I have no idea how many calories I ate! I was so fucking stressed that I actually didn't care for once! I have the most difficult assignment/presentation thing for Uni to do that I can't concentrate right now. I have barely started it and it's due this week. I just cannot study/do homework and restrict! I have no concentration/motivation and I feel far too tired when I'm restricting. So today again, I fucked up and ate lots. Probably 1500 cals but at least I got some homework done.
I would rather be thin than get good grades. I really would. But the perfectionist in me who only settles for 'A's' is taking over at the moment and battling with the side of me that just wants to be thin. But without doing the homework today I would've failed and I can't think of anything worse than failing Uni.
Sorry for being quiet and not commenting - I have a stressful week coming up so I may not have a lot of time to comment but I will be back!!
Pray for me that I can have a binge-free month. Even if I'm only 134 in a month's time, that will be ok with me. Anything in the 130's is better than how I currently am. I dread to think of my weight. Today's eating was extra worse, I feel like I've gained 5 lbs, my stomach is huge :(
Sorry for this depressing post!! Hope ur all getting skinny and bingeing isn't ever worth it as y'all know already but just reiterating it for u!
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Aww, its okay, we all feel so overwheled at times and all our self contorl just flies out the window...
ReplyDeleteI really do hope you can get through those 4 weeks, just read this post whenever you feel like binging again, right?....
Stay stong, xxoo....
You need to stp being so hard on yourself. Up your allowance to a thousand calories, you will still lose weight and should be less likely to binge. when you got a thousand calories down lower it to 800 and so forth. It's when we feel like we have blown it that we carry on eating so stick to a thousand which will give you lots of wiggle room but will still mean you can drop weight.
ReplyDeleteYou can do it! Just one day at a a time. dont think of it as four weeks. just tomorow. if you feel like binging eat dark chocolate. the strong taste makes you less hungry pluss its chocolate!
ReplyDeletegood luck
~Creative
Hey.
ReplyDeleteyou will do better tomorrow i am sure of it.
i also have a stressful period in school and like 3 tests every day...
Anyways keep strong hun
Make your dreams happen.
I'm finally back! Was hard being away so long, time slipped by so fast and I feel like I have to start over again. Keep strong, you can easily be skinny in 4 weeks! I was on the beach here yesterday, gave me a bit of a wake up call and now I'm hopefully on track! Missed you and your support while I was gone, hope you're doing good xxx
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