SHIT SHIT Day!
Good day yesterday, despite still being 147 (not getting to 146 on the 16th as hoped). I had about 900 cals and maintained 147 this morning.
Today was a completely different story! Had a few small slices of turkey breast and some steamed veggies for lunch (peas, carrots & broccoli). Then had a starbucks coffee. Decided not to eat for the rest of day. Felt hungry by 6pm so had 2 small pots of fat free yogurt, an apple and 2 chicken 'cup a soups'. Calorie count at this stage was around 1000 - so fucking plenty in other words.
Then, despite keeping all trigger foods out of the house my husband decides to make fucking oat bar/slice things of which I ate too much and now feel sick and bloated. Have taken an OD of my detox/'inner cleansing' pills so praying to god that I can maintain tomorrow and not gain (unlikely to happen).
I keep going round and round in circles in the same cycle. I looked back at some of my weight loss diaries from 2 years ago. I went from 150 to 140 in about 3 weeks! With NO exercise! I had 2 bowls of soup and day and NOTHING else - so around 400-500 cals max. Why can't I just do it again? I KNOW what to do - so why not just DO it!!
Last time around I wasn't studying at the time. Does that make a difference? Just another excuse it sounds like.
Love you all hope you're doing a billion times better than me! :)
xx
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It's allways hard to get back to a routine... especially after Mia, (eeps!).
ReplyDeleteBest of luck, though, just remember, the hard work will pay off! Just remember that, and you'll do fine.
Btw, i envy ur stats (in gud way!) =)
O my goodness, I'm the same. I go through cycles where I just don't eat, but this time it's not working. Even 5 months ago I managed to happily survive on 2 bowls of special k and a banana a day, this time I'm lucky if I can get through the day and resist the bread bin. We can do it though, maybe it's because we're so desparate to get there again our minds are going into panic mode and setting off anxiety eating? Remember to breath and stay calm with me. Sending you peace adn harmony vibes! love xxx
ReplyDeleteSometimes I have a feeling that this constant internal struggle to not eat drives us perversely in the opposite direction and when we're tempted with food that appeals to us, all hell breaks loose. The more I tell myself to stay away from food, the more I'm acutely conscious that food is just lurking around the corner i.e the kitchen, the supermarket, 711, the deli, that new restaurant which just opened etcetc.
ReplyDeleteI almost wish I could knock myself out for a few days just so I won't eat. Tempting idea, isn't it? =p